Examples of funny, clever, and corny jokes you can text to your friends
Want to make your friends laugh out loud with a text? Texting is a quick and easy way to connect with people, perfect for sending clever quips to brighten their day. All you need to do is find a few jokes that translate well on a phone screen! If you need a little inspiration, look no further. We’ve put together a handy list of jokes, puns, and witty one-liners you can send over text.
Steps
Funny Text Jokes
- What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships!
- What do a tick and the Eiffel tower have in common? They’re both Paris sites.
- What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.
- When does a joke become a dad joke? When it’s apparent.
- What did summer say to spring? I’m going to fall!
- What did one snowman say to another? Wait, do you smell carrots?
- What did the hungry clock do? It went back 4 seconds.
- What’s the tallest building in the world? A library, of course. It has so many stories!
- Don’t take life too seriously. Remember, you will never get out of it alive!
- I always take life with a grain of salt. And a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila!
- I know they say that money talks… ...But all mine says is “Goodbye!”
- I used to have a handle on life… ...But then it broke.
- I tried to catch fog the other day. But I mist.
- Let’s start telling people their brain is an app. Maybe then they’ll want to use it!
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s literally impossible to put down!
- What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur? Thesaurus.
- Why can’t you trust a burrito? They tend to spill the beans.
- What’s a plant’s favorite drink? Root beer!
- I threw a boomerang a few years ago… ...And now I live in constant fear.
- What did one hat say to another? You wait here; I’ll go on ahead.
- I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
- Blunt pencils are really pointless.
- 6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.
- Just burned 2,000 calories! That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
- You and I will be friends forever! Because at this point, you know too much.
- Thanks for being my best friend. And for always going along with my worst ideas, of course!
- This may be cheesy… ...But you’re legen-dairy!
- What concert only costs 45 cents? 50 Cent and Nickelback.
- There are 3 kinds of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can’t.
- What kind of button doesn’t button or unbutton? A belly button!
- I know someone who does a great impression of an owl…
- I’m a nobody and nobody is perfect… ...Therefore, I must be perfect!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Muffin. Muffin who? Muffin in this world can stop us!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Ben. Ben who? Ben thinking about you all day!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Spell. Spell who? Okay, fine…W-H-O.
- Is your name Google? Because you’ve got everything I’m searching for.
- Are you a keyboard? Because you’re my type!
- On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re a 9… ...And I’m the 1 you need!
- Roses are red, the world is a mess… ...And worst of all, you’re not answering my texts.
- Do you know what my favorite thing in the world is? The second word of this text!
- We’ll we’ll we’ll… If it isn’t autocorrect.
- Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- The rotation of the Earth really makes my day.
- The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It got a little tense.