“I would never have believed that I would meet my future wife at a sex party”: how one hot night marked the beginning of a strong union.

Dating on Tinder, in bars or on the street, even if it encourages romance and flirting, is unlikely to surprise you with its originality. What will happen if a couple meets in a place that does not seem to promise the prospects for a happy family relationship in the traditional sense?

Ian and Maya met at a sex party. It would seem that everything should have ended there, but the way their relationship developed further could be the envy of many Hollywood melodramas. Having learned their story, you immediately believe that fate itself brought these two people together.

Ian is in his early forties and has lived and worked abroad for 10 years. Maya is a psychologist, she is about 30 years old and has spent her entire adult life in Russia.

It would seem how people so different at first glance could come together. But curiosity and the desire to try new things resulted in a strong and non-trivial union.

First time

Ian: At the time of my return to Moscow, I was going through a difficult breakup after a long relationship. I wanted new experiences. I was looking for a way to have fun, and I accidentally came across information about a sex party. They observe the strictest dress code, face control, and the safety rules are stricter than all similar measures in bars and clubs where people usually go to relax.

I've seen a lot in my life, but I was so puzzled by the preparations for this event that I literally pestered the organizers with questions about the costume. As a result, I came in a white Japanese robe with hieroglyphs (the name of the Kinky party theme sounded like White Party, so I had to come in something white - approx. ProPedia).

Maya : “I have always been interested in the sensual side of human communication: pleasure, eroticism, beautiful people, theme parties... Something secret and at the same time filled with freedom... One day I came across a post in which a girl was talking about an erotic party. It was so beautiful and unusual that I decided to definitely go there. I found the website of this party and became even more inspired. Of course, it was scary to go. There were a lot of thoughts in my head: will my outfit comply with the dress code, will I be comfortable and safe... But as soon as I found myself in the club where the party was taking place, there was no trace of doubt left.”

Yang: Looking around the crowd, I saw a girl. It’s interesting that a couple of days before the party I was describing to my friends the image of an ideal companion, and then I come and see her - I’ve never experienced such feelings in my life. She represented everything I had dreamed of, it felt like I was hit with an electric shock, and vibrations ran down my spine. I didn’t hesitate or hesitate and approached the stranger. I spent the whole evening courting her, trying to impress, giving compliments, she didn’t make much contact at first, but in the end I managed to win her over.

Love

Jan: The next day I wrote to her and we made an appointment. I was afraid that in the light of day and in a different, everyday environment, she would not be as beautiful as she appeared before me in the dark, but no - she was still just as perfect. Of course, I was worried about how exactly we met, but then I realized that these were just conventions that should not interfere with us.

This time we started from scratch and decided to have a traditional date in a restaurant - I was captivated by the fact that she thought about safety and decided to make sure that I was the way she remembered me. I think the element of having to look after her played a role in the fact that I ended up falling in love with Maya, although I could not imagine that it would go so far and we would become a couple. Therefore, when communication began to gain serious momentum, I wanted to keep both our relationship and the circumstances of our acquaintance secret from others.

I didn’t have such a sudden realization of love; rather, it was some kind of process during which I recognized Maya. At first I fell in love with her smell, then I began to feel that this was a loved one. We both didn’t want a relationship at that time, but it so happened that we found each other when we were least looking for it.

The secret to a happy relationship

Jan: Although I am happy, it is difficult for me to say how to build a happy union. I seemed to love in other ways, but in reality I was lying, wearing a mask and not being myself. Yes, I like to interact with other girls so as not to lie and hide - not every person can accept this. And Maya, who, by the way, is a rather introverted and closed person, was able to love me like that. That's why it's cool for me to be with her.

Maya : “ It’s hard to say. It is important to understand that next to you is an already formed person with his own experience, his own needs and desires. Very often people try to remake each other and adjust to themselves, although no one asked them for such “help”. You just need to accept each other and discover something new together. It is very important not to make complaints if something goes wrong, but to speak openly about your feelings, share your fears and experiences.”

Wedding sex party

Jan: We realized that we loved each other very much, so we had no doubts to legitimize our relationship. Maya even decided to quit her job and move with me to another country - this is a brave step by a loving person. Therefore, we rather signed and realized our dream of moving while already married.

The stamp in our passports did not add any more formality to our relationship - sometimes we completely forget that we are married because we are completely honest with each other. If someone had told me at 16-20 years old that I would meet my love at an erotic party, I would never have believed it.

Our wedding turned out to be very symbolic - we met in December at a party, then four years passed, and on the December morning we got married, and in the evening we went with friends to celebrate the event at a party. It surprisingly happened that on the cherished day the theme of the party was the same as when we met - White Party, so everything was wedding-white and solemn. I then contacted the organizers in advance, told the story of our relationship, we were called on stage - then I said that at such parties anything is possible! By the way, afterwards on stage some guy proposed to his girlfriend, and by a lucky chance it was captured by a famous blogger, isn’t it romantic?

Third wheel?

Ian: When we first started dating, we had no thoughts about going or not going to the next party, we knew for sure that we would go. Our main rule is to discuss everything and say if you don’t like something, so before going there we carefully prepared and discussed what was possible and what was not.

At first I was more relaxed than Maya, but then we talked for a long time, discussed and came to the conclusion that we would not spoil the relationship if we both allowed ourselves a little more. Maya always had a desire to try the unusual, but she needed a guide to bring her bold fantasies to life, and I helped her with this.

Maya : “It is generally accepted that jealousy occurs when your partner interacts with someone other than you. When I look at Ian with another girl, I feel excited. Undoubtedly, in the process there are sometimes moments that provoke negative feelings, but the main point is to discuss all this. It is important to listen and hear your partner, to speak openly about every little thing. But it’s even more important to focus on what excites and pleasures both of you.”

Ian: Jealousy has a rather negative meaning, we didn’t have that, we have a transparent relationship, so we never communicate with other people if one of us doesn’t like it.

Maya : When I communicate with other people, I understand that it’s cool, emotions, a new experience. But with Ian I experience something completely different - he is a dear person, he knows what I like and don’t like, he knows me, my experiences, even the meaning of facial expressions - we learned all this in the process of long communication.

Treason

Ian: Treason is when you deceived, betrayed, concealed, and if you discussed the boundaries of what is permitted in advance and act within these limits, then everything is fine. In addition, cheating is not always directly related to sex, for example, you can sit in another room and text in secret.

For us, parties are just a shared adventure and a way to make our dreams come true. I don't want to offend the people we meet and interact with there, but we're just there to have a good time. It’s stylish, not vulgar, aesthetically pleasing – just the way we want it.

In order not to lose the aura of unusualness of the parties, we do not go to them often - 2-3 times a year. In addition, it is very important to be in the mood so that there are no misunderstandings, minor grievances - any negativity. We go out to have fun only when we are upbeat and with a positive attitude.

Do more than two speak out loud?

Maya : Many of our relatives and friends do not understand our interests, so we see no point in sharing this part of our life with them, much less proving anything to anyone. In addition, we have friends who share our hobbies, and we communicate very well with them. To the question “how did you meet?” we answer “at a themed party,” but we don’t specify which one, so we’re telling the truth and not shocking anyone. Will we tell all our future children about this? Who knows. Time will show. But if a sex party can be the place where you meet your love, then why not?

Photo: Getty Images