How to turn a meaningless conversation into a fruitful conversation.

Having mastered the art of small talk, many do not know how to move to the next level and turn a meaningless conversation into a fruitful conversation that is interesting to both parties. Here are some simple and practical tips that even the most reserved introverts can take note of!

Wanting to quickly move on to a substantive discussion, many make the same mistakes. Before we learn how to move the conversation in the direction we need, let’s figure out what not to do.

• Angry cop. You cannot make your interlocutor feel like he is being interrogated. Who likes to feel like they are being forced to undergo a rigorous and meticulous interview? “Where do you live? What do you do? And how is it?" You will appear overly aggressive.
• Mr. Banality. Boring general questions are a clear abuse of attention. You will receive exactly the same empty answers about nothing. “Where did you grow up? Oh, this is so interesting. Do you have a hobby?" We talk about hobbies all our lives. I'm tired of it already.
• Too nervous. This is when you try to tell everything at once, and also ask everyone what they think about it. “ Let me tell you what I do. First of all, I have a career. Secondly, I also do this. What do you think of it? Have you ever heard of this? Yes? And how do you rate it? At this moment, you can literally feel how those around you are losing energy and their eyes are dimming.

So, we already know what not to do. How to properly move from an empty conversation to a deep, interesting and fruitful conversation ? Such a dialogue is necessarily an exchange of information: remaining silent and listening will not work. And just asking questions too.

If you feel like you're struggling with asking the right questions and maintaining a conversation, try these strategies.

Strategy #1: Question, Question, Statement

If all you do is ask questions, then you're not really adding anything to the conversation. A good alternative is to ask two or three questions followed by a statement.

Badly

- Where are you from? How long have you lived here? And how do you like it? Why did you move here?

Fine

- Where are you from?
- I am from Samara.
- Oh, I've been there. In general, I myself grew up in Tomsk, and then moved to Moscow. It was not an easy decision.
- Understand. How long have you been living in the capital?

Instead of interrogating the other person, you share with the person, establish a connection and start a relationship.

Strategy #2: Observe and Compliment

Giving thoughtful, specific compliments is one of the most powerful tools for having a productive, engaged conversation. If you give such compliments in a natural and original way, your interlocutor will actually be pleased to hear it. Watch. This is the key to the perfect compliment.

Badly

“You are the bravest and smartest person I know.” How can I become like you?

Such a compliment sounds vulgar, banal and completely unnatural. Your interlocutor will find you very strange, unpleasant or selfish.

Fine

— You know, it’s noticeable that you are not afraid to take on challenges. I know a lot of managers, but not one who dives in his free time. How did you decide to do this?

See what happened? Your interlocutor will be very pleased to receive such a compliment. He will like you, because you have proven yourself to be an attentive and observant person.

Strategy #3: Have your own opinion

Lack of an opinion is one of the factors that destroys conversation. Imagine a conversation with a person who does not have his own point of view, but only asks general questions. It is unbearable. What is he really thinking? How to establish contact with such a person? This is why it is critical to have your own opinion.

Badly

— What do you think about these terrible forest fires near city X?
- I can not say anything. I've heard quite a bit about this.

Fine

— What do you think about these terrible forest fires near city X?
- I saw the report! True, it was short-lived, there is little information, but it seems that the fires started because of tourists. Do you know the details?

See, even if you know very little about an issue, you can still bring something different to the conversation. No one is asking you to report on a topic. People are just interested in hearing your opinion, that's all.

The best part is that the strategies will work in any case: if you don’t like talking to others in general and if you have already reached the pinnacle of public speaking . The main thing is to communicate and put these tips into practice.